My Client has watched helplessly as her 10-year old custodial stepdaughter has transformed from loving to tough-to-love in less than a year. Stepdaughter returns from weekend visits with her biological mother acting unruly and disrespectful. The biological mother has just re-entered the child’s life after an ‘illness’ and I suspect this is the root cause […]
This question raises several issues. The most important one may be the definition of mental illness. It is very normal for divorce to elicit strong feelings, often negative ones—and for these feelings to change from sadness to anger, guilt, or shame. It is often typical for divorcing partners to label each other as “bi-polar” as […]
Are you dealing with disrespectful stepkids? Why would they be disrespectful? Like it or not, phrases like, “You’re not my Mom!” may be thrown around in times of disobedience and defiance. As a pruned at this very moment to defy my Husband and I every chance they get. They are being severely alienated and have […]
HEAR ME OUT BEFORE I GET AN #EyeRoll! Today, let’s TRY a little tenderness! If you’re in a high conflict co-parenting situation, the last thing you may want to do is send niceties to the ONE person who’s mission is to make your life a living hell. I want to nudge you to try something […]
The most unfortunate time in a relationship is when you realize it has reached its climax. The best times have passed and it’s all downhill from here. Many of us will fight tooth and nail to salvage love, but sadly when our efforts are in vain we must begin the process of learning to live […]
Back in the good old days when all we had were pagers — scratch that, let’s go even further. Back in the good old days when all we had were answering machines and a mailbox, breaking up was much easier to do. All you had to do was stop sending mail and calling each other. […]
In a blog post that soon went viral, Candice Curry, 39, wrote ‘you were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful’ Happy family: Candice Curry, left, and her daughter Stiles with stepmum Ashley Parish Many mothers dread the idea of another woman raising their child, but one has decided to […]
I’m a stepmom. I’ve written about it before but I consider being a stepmom one of the luckiest things that has ever happened to me. Some of you other stepmoms out there aren’t so lucky, and for whatever reasons you have bio-moms who you just can’t get along with, and who just can’t get along […]
After reading the list, don’t get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating your ex-spouse. This is normal in even the best of parents. Instead, let the list help sensitize you to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children. Here are common mistakes: To […]
Submitted by a member of the Blended and Black community Have you ever found yourself saying, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost a limb!”? Usually thoughts like this pass when we see a debilitated person. Some attempt to empathize, we may thank our Creator for sparing us the horrid experience, some of […]
Stepmothers and their stepdaughters can be faced with unique challenges. There is an interesting dynamic that happens when a woman is tasked with “mothering” a child that she did not bear. In the case of the stepmother, this new ‘mother-daughter’ dynamic can exist because of divorce. In some instances, a biological mother is disinterested or unable […]
THE GOOD WIFE Who’s helping You, when his Ex is a Borderline? Whether it’s your husband or lover who has gotten involved with a borderline disordered female, you’re in for some harrowing times. This issue becomes a monumentally stressful exercise for both of you–but sadly, you’ll generally end up feeling the brunt of it, not […]
A warning for Stepmoms (and biomoms). Yes Stepmoms, you read that right. The BioMonster (high conflict bio mom) you’re dealing with was created with your help – the Stepmom who chose a life most would run away from. For those of you who haven’t heard of the term “BioMonster,” I’ll define it like this: a […]
Blended and Black founder, Naja Hall spoke with AskSharifah on Sharifah Hardie’s long-running LA talk radio show. The ladies had a full 1 hour session on-air and it was full of so many sistafriend moments. They spoke about Naja’s experiences as a Family Life Coach and some best practices in dealing with high-conflict personalities, mental illness, […]
Like most women that are falling in love, I was hopeful and anxious when my Future Husband and I began dating. He is an astonishing man! He’s tall, dark and very handsome. He is kind and gentle. He has rock hard abs! He is also a Father. The latter was a tough fact for me […]
BEST APPS FOR CO-PARENTING When it comes to divorce, technology often gets a bad rap. Many people cite phone addictions and their partners social media usage as contributing factors to their relationship breakdown. Yet not all technology is bad. These co-parenting apps show just how beneficial tech can be. Divorce is hard enough – let your phone […]
Sis, May I have a word with you for a second? There are far too many good men who are fighting to be involved in the life of a child they created only to be constantly turned away by a bio-mom. There is also a statistic of women who are fighting to have their child’s […]
Hypothetically speaking, if your co-parent approached you and gave you their most honest reason explaining why they are high-conflict, inconsistent, or not involved -would you listen and accept their response? Would you offer solutions to help ease them back into your child’s life? Would you berate them and spew insults? I recently posed this question […]
I recently read an article written by a woman that admittedly has Daddy issues. She was very open about her struggles with maintaining healthy relationships because of her deeply embedded fear of abandonment. Her lack of trust for her father had resonated throughout many of her interpersonal relationships. Like many people raised by a Single […]
Dear Naja, I’m pretty new to this group and I don’t know the lingo for exes, wives, etc. so forgive me in advance. Anyhow, never married and one son (6), sons father has 2 other boys from a current marriage. My son wants to pretty much take everything (well not everything- see below) from my […]
Life is so short. In the blink of an eye, our time here could end. Spending your days raising hell, filled with rage and carrying hatred shortens your good days. Only a COWARD holds on to hatred. You see, love can hurt, it can make you vulnerable. It can expose you for who you are […]
In an all around tragedy, an 18-year-old woman is dead after being repeatedly run over and rammed into a tree by her boyfriend’s child’s mother. Tatyanna Lewis, 18, was killed by a 24-year-old woman Friday night (May 12) in Chicago just after 11 p.m. The attacker — whose name has not been released — rammed Lewis […]