OG Marriage Advice From My Mom
Happy 40th Anniversary to my parents, Nate and Nancy!
I asked my Mom how she kept her marriage spicy for 40 years. She told me the normal cliches like, never go to bed angry and keep God 1st.
But then She said some real insider info!
1. Be Creative
She explained that there were many years where she and my Dad didn’t have much, so she always created different environments. She said she always found the energy to be creative. When she couldn’t afford new furniture, she’d redecorate the house and my Dad would think he was in a new place! She said men are visual so she made sure to keep him visually stimulated.
2. Protect Your Spouse’s Honor
She said that she never spoke ill of her Husband to her circle. Close friends and family are less forgiving. Long after you’ve reconciled an issue, your circle will remind you of what went wrong.
3. Keep It Tight
She said she always tried hard to look good. Even when she gained 90 lbs when she was pregnant with my now 27 year old twin sisters, she made sure my Dad knew she was trying to be beautiful for HIM.
4. Stay away from bad apples
She said they both weeded out relationships that were a potential bad influence. Having people around that don’t respect your Marriage and regard its sanctity never ends well. Never.
5. Fight FOR your Marriage
She said she knew during the bad times that my Dad was still her partner. Instead of fighting one another, she said around year 16, they began to fight for one another.
6. Your Marriage should be fun!
Be quick to forgive and even quicker to forget. Marriage is work. But when my mom hears young people grunting and saying how hard marriage is, she prays for them. With financial problems, health issues, job loss, managing a family-life can present hardships. Make your marital bond the ONE thing that is simplified, natural and easy. Work smart not hard.
7. Your Spouse is your FRIEND
My mom Nancy Matthews said that Nathaniel Matthews is her friend. Simple, right?
Words from my Dad AKA Nate da Great:
“Me and your mom met when we were 16 on Main St. in Memphis. We got married when we were 19 or 20, I think. She was a pretty dark skinned gal with a big beautiful smile and a nice ummm personality. She gave me the wrong number when we met! I knew she changed the last digit from a 3 to an 8! I called both and finally got her on the phone. We have you and the twins and you girls wouldn’t have turned out so great, had we given up on each other when things got tough. It was all destiny. I truly believe that girl was always meant to be my wife. I’m headed out to go pick up the new ring I got her today. She deserves it, to put up with me! Whew! She deserves everything.”
I’m a newlywed, so I always ask for advice from my folks and my inlaws (celebrating 34 years). God has blessed my Husband I and with some STRONG examples of what marriage means.
I share nuggets like this all the time! If you want to stay in touch, link with me and sign up for updates !
xo Naja Hall
From the founder of Blended & Black: Happy 40th Anniversary to my parents, Mr. and Mrs. Nathaniel Matthews. You've been such a beautiful example of God's enduring love, patience, kindness and grace for us- your 3 daughters Naja, Natoya Ann and Nadia Matthews as well as your family,friends and strangers. Who knew that a chance meeting in 1973 on Beale Street – Memphis would lead to two 16 year old kids getting married at 21 years old and celebrating 40 years of marriage today June 25th?! Mom you've been a 2nd Mom to SO many women. You have been a support system and a constant presence of light for many young people and young marriages. Dad, you're the epitome of cool! You're the cool Dad that the next generation of Husband's and Fathers look up to! May you continue to beat the odds, live healthy and wealthy and prosper! We love you and we thank you for proving that MARRIAGE can last! #init4thelonghall #NM5