#AskDad: Daughter Loves Stepmom But Hates Her Mom
Dear Ask Dad,
As a man I have never written in to one of these columns, but I don’t know what to do. My
daughter is 15 years old and she is a fantastic young lady. She is an honor student, captain of her basketball team
and she volunteers as well. My issue is with the women in my life. My daughter and her mother do
NOT get along. We split custody 50/50 and they fight every single day. I don’t know what to do or say
about it; it seems like they fight over everything. However, she and my wife get along beautifully. My
daughter is so loving toward her and she is the same way to my daughter. She shows up at all her events and even a lot of practices. Her mother comes to most games but you can cut the tension with a knife. I don’t know what to do.
Signed,
Confused Dude
Dear Confused Dude
All kids were told the same thing… “stay out of grown-folks business”. I’m going to modify that
a little bit for this situation. Stay out of women’s’ business. Do not stick your nose where it doesn’t
belong. Make sure your daughter is safe and not being abused by the mother and make sure your daughter does not cross the lines of respect with her mother. If it is just a case that they are like oil and water, leave it alone. There may be some underlying reasons for her behavior but daughters not getting along with their
mothers (and sons not getting along with their fathers) is nothing new. She probably warmed up to your
wife because as the stepmom, the job description is different; the love and guidance is there but the
other stuff is not. If she comes to you, encourage a relationship with both mom and stepmom but
don’t force it. Right now, embrace the fact that your wife has great line of communication with your daughter. Do everything you can to keep it open. Kids need an adult they can talk to about anything.
