50 Signs You’re in Love With a Narcissist
- He/She will always define the terms
- You will live by a set of double standards.
- Nothing is his/her fault.
- You feel that something is very wrong in your relationship but you can’t grasp it.
- He/she will never resolve a conflict, as a result, they will continue to repeat.
- You feel anxious when you are around him/her.
- He/she will rarely consider your feelings; and will only do so if it serves him some how.
- He/she will never apologize in an authentic way that acknowledges his/her behavior or your suffering.
- What will matter most to him/her is how he/she appears to others.
- He/she will ruin the majority of your birthdays and holidays.
- He/she will be sullen during (or cause a fight before) events that are important to you because they are not about him.
- He/she will NOT show up for you at times when you need a partner the most and will be rageful if you are upset about it.
- You will be continually criticized, nothing is good enough. it’s an insatiable need for supply.
- Your expectations will be managed down to mere crumbs; to the point where you will be happy just because he/she isn’t giving you the silent treatment, yelling at you.
- He/she will threaten to leave the relationship in a cold and callous tone.
- Beyond the initial stages of dating, he/she will make NO effort to befriend your friends or family unless knowing them benefits him in some way.
- Your value will be diminished to the point of nothingness in his/her eyes. In fact, mere strangers will hold more weight in his/her eyes than you will.
- He/she will be sometimes kind and full of love again just to beat you the next day. This is called intermittent reinforcement. you become addicted to his/her highs.
- You will have sexual issues with him/her. He/She is rarely satisfied and/or can withhold physical intimacy. You will doubt yourself.
- Simple conversations may become crazy-making endeavors.
- You will find yourself walking on eggshells or walking through a minefield.
- You will lose yourself because you will be trained to focus only on his/her feelings and reactions, never mind yours.
- You will experience the silent treatment.
- You will experience cognitive dissonance, gaslighting and trauma bond.
- You put aside your basic needs and desires, sacrificing your emotional and financial safety to please the abuser.
- He/she will isolate you from your friends and/or your family .
- He/she will use your reactions to tell others how crazy you are.
- He/she will blame you for all of the problems in the relationship.
- You will blame yourself.
- He/she will use your weaknesses, traumas and intimate secrets against you.
- You will experience many dramatic exits, followed by a reappearance of the Narcissist acting as if nothing unusual had ever happened.
- He/she will act like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.
- He/she will not do his fair share of household responsibilities and will criticize your efforts.
- You will experience an emotional roller coaster .
- When you try to hold him/her accountable or you criticize him/her. He/she will fly into a rage.
- He/she is selfish, stubborn, materialistic, and extremely moody.
- He/she will rarely ask you about your day and wish you to “have a good day.” He/she will never show genuine concern for things that you care about (unless it’s something he cares about.)
- You will feel stuck, trapped and unable to leave him/her.
- He/she will project his/her bad behaviors onto you and you will project your good intentions onto him /her— neither is accurate.
- He/she will ruin your finances.
- Your job will be to do everything in your power to restore the relationship to what it was.
- The entire experience will result in trauma for you (depression , panic attacks, PTSD or C-PTSD).
- He/she will compare you unfavorably to other women/men, especially his ex.
- You will begin to feel crazy; then, over time, you will begin to feel numb.
- If you go to couples counseling it will not work, and will most likely back fire on you. ( Please realize you do not have a marriage problem, your partner has a personality disorder)
- He/she is extremely kind with strangers but when he/she is with you he/she turns into a monster behind the closed doors.
- Once you start to wise up and pull away he/she will begin to smear your character behind your back in an attempt to turn people against you. In fact, he/she was probably doing this throughout your entire relationship.
- When he/she discards you. He/she will act like nothing happened. He/she seems happy and relieved, you are devastated.
- Most people will never fully believe your account of the relationship and the psychological trauma can take a lot of time to understand and recover from
- And despite ALL this s**t you still love him/her.
- Ultimately you were never loved you were used, abused and manipulated. You loved a facade that didn’t exist, you became addicted … you should run away before it’s too late.
Written by Mohamed Ayundi