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50 Signs You’re in Love With a Narcissist

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50 Signs You're in Love With a Narcissist – BlendedandBlack.com #divorce #blendedfamilies #babydaddy #coparenting #exwife #exhusband #biomom #stepmom #forgiveness

  1. He/She will always define the terms
  2. You will live by a set of double standards.
  3. Nothing is his/her fault.
  4. You feel that something is very wrong in your relationship but you can’t grasp it.
  5. He/she will never resolve a conflict, as a result, they will continue to repeat.
  6. You feel anxious when you are around him/her.
  7. He/she will rarely consider your feelings; and will only do so if it serves him some how.
  8. He/she will never apologize in an authentic way that acknowledges his/her behavior or your suffering.
  9. What will matter most to him/her is how he/she appears to others.
  10. He/she will ruin the majority of your birthdays and holidays.
  11. He/she will be sullen during (or cause a fight before) events that are important to you because they are not about him.
  12. He/she will NOT show up for you at times when you need a partner the most and will be rageful if you are upset about it.
  13. You will be continually criticized, nothing is good enough. it’s an insatiable need for supply.
  14. Your expectations will be managed down to mere crumbs; to the point where you will be happy just because he/she isn’t giving you the silent treatment, yelling at you.
  15. He/she will threaten to leave the relationship in a cold and callous tone.
  16. Beyond the initial stages of dating, he/she will make NO effort to befriend your friends or family unless knowing them benefits him in some way.
  17. Your value will be diminished to the point of nothingness in his/her eyes. In fact, mere strangers will hold more weight in his/her eyes than you will.
  18. He/she will be sometimes kind and full of love again just to beat you the next day. This is called intermittent reinforcement. you become addicted to his/her highs.
  19. You will have sexual issues with him/her. He/She is rarely satisfied and/or can withhold physical intimacy. You will doubt yourself.
  20. Simple conversations may become crazy-making endeavors.
  21. You will find yourself walking on eggshells or walking through a minefield.
  22. You will lose yourself because you will be trained to focus only on his/her feelings and reactions, never mind yours.
  23. You will experience the silent treatment.
  24. You will experience cognitive dissonance, gaslighting and trauma bond.
  25. You put aside your basic needs and desires, sacrificing your emotional and financial safety to please the abuser.
  26. He/she will isolate you from your friends and/or your family .
  27. He/she will use your reactions to tell others how crazy you are.
  28. He/she will blame you for all of the problems in the relationship.
  29. You will blame yourself.
  30. He/she will use your weaknesses, traumas and intimate secrets against you.
  31. You will experience many dramatic exits, followed by a reappearance of the Narcissist acting as if nothing unusual had ever happened.
  32. He/she will act like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.
  33. He/she will not do his fair share of household responsibilities and will criticize your efforts.
  34. You will experience an emotional roller coaster .
  35. When you try to hold him/her accountable or you criticize him/her. He/she will fly into a rage.
  36. He/she is selfish, stubborn, materialistic, and extremely moody.
  37. He/she will rarely ask you about your day and wish you to “have a good day.” He/she will never show genuine concern for things that you care about (unless it’s something he cares about.)
  38. You will feel stuck, trapped and unable to leave him/her.
  39. He/she will project his/her bad behaviors onto you and you will project your good intentions onto him /her— neither is accurate.
  40. He/she will ruin your finances.
  41. Your job will be to do everything in your power to restore the relationship to what it was.
  42. The entire experience will result in trauma for you (depression , panic attacks, PTSD or C-PTSD).
  43. He/she will compare you unfavorably to other women/men, especially his ex.
  44. You will begin to feel crazy; then, over time, you will begin to feel numb.
  45. If you go to couples counseling it will not work, and will most likely back fire on you. ( Please realize you do not have a marriage problem, your partner has a personality disorder)
  46. He/she is extremely kind with strangers but when he/she is with you he/she turns into a monster behind the closed doors.
  47. Once you start to wise up and pull away he/she will begin to smear your character behind your back in an attempt to turn people against you. In fact, he/she was probably doing this throughout your entire relationship.
  48. When he/she discards you. He/she will act like nothing happened. He/she seems happy and relieved, you are devastated.
  49. Most people will never fully believe your account of the relationship and the psychological trauma can take a lot of time to understand and recover from
  50. And despite ALL this s**t you still love him/her.
  • Ultimately you were never loved you were used, abused and manipulated. You loved a facade that didn’t exist, you became addicted … you should run away before it’s too late.

Written by Mohamed Ayundi

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