Letter to My Daughter’s Stepmum: A Message to Ex-Husband’s New Wife
In a blog post that soon went viral, Candice Curry, 39, wrote ‘you were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful’
Many mothers dread the idea of another woman raising their child, but one has decided to do away with bitterness and embrace the stepmother of her 14-year-old daughter.
In a post that soon went viral, Candice Curry wrote An Open Letter To My Daughter’s Stepmom on her blog Women with Worth.
Curry, 39, begins with an honest declaration about her initial doubts about 29-year-old Ashley Parish, her ex-husband’s new wife.
She writes: “I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan.
Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child.”
But the mother of five, from San Antonio, Texas, acknowledges: “I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to.”
Curry admits that before meeting Parish she hoped the woman would be a mean “old hag” who her daughter Stiles would want nothing to do with.
She thought her Stiles’s stepmum would be a “terrible beast” who was “semi unattractive” and prayed that her daughter wouldn’t look up to the woman who was with her ex-husband.
But her opinions soon changed on meeting Parish.
Curry writes: “When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body.
“You were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.’
And Parish made it impossible for Curry to resent her.
“My plans were foiled,” Curry writes.”You’ve accepted my daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us.
“You’ve included my daughter in everything you do and make her feel loved and accepted. You put her relationship with her daddy above yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with such grace.”
Parish has been co-parenting the teen with Curry for seven years, two as stepmother, the New York Daily News reports.
Curry revealed that she and Parish send text messages to each other, reminding the other of the love and respect they share.
She said that she is thankful to have Parish as part of her daughter’s family , guiding Stiles, and is grateful that the two women are able to rise above their circumstances.
Curry goes on to thank Parish for respecting her position as Stiles’s biological mother and writes that she doesn’t view Parish as a “fill in” for her but rather “her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me”.
“I promise to always respect your input for our daughter,” Curry writes. “I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother.
I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together.
“Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.”
The November 30 blog post has since been shared more than 10,000 times onFacebook, according to Yahoo Parenting.
Curry told the Daily News that her daughter was at her father’s home when the letter was posted and Parish cried when she read it.
Parish commented on the blog post: “Candice, I don’t know what to say. I am not good with words like you are and the way you express yourself.
All I can say is I am crying like at the end of The Notebook …you make me feel so special … Thank you for this letter. It made my day and I will keep it close to my heart always. Love you.”
March 26, 2017 @ 12:43 am
Thank you for sharing our story.
March 26, 2017 @ 12:49 am
Very VERY inspirational!!! Kudos to you and your family for getting it right!